Owltastic Being inventive for a living is full of its ups and downs, and when you hit a down it can be hard to stay motivated. Due to post-move empty-pocket syndrome, I’ve been seeking cheap sources of inspiration, and NetFlix’s free trial + Pixar’s Short Films Volume 1 proved to be just the right formula. Seeing the evolution of this amazing team and their work reminded me why I should keep going during the creative rough spots.
Yesterday was sort of a hellish day. I was working on a pro-bono design for a friend of a friend, and for some reason I just couldn’t find the right way to present the content for his application. After stumbling all day, staring hopelessly at the Photoshop file for about 10 minutes, showing it to Jason and getting a “meh” response, I felt like getting down on the dirty coffee-shop floor, crawling under the table, and crying.
I have an issue with detaching myself from work. Web design isn’t really just something for me to do from 9-5; I think about it all the time. I think about color schemes while stirring spaghetti. I drift off into a comparison of different layouts during boring conversations. I have dreams about typography. When clients call me and say “one of the partners’ wives hates the color orange, can you just swap out the background and borders?” I often have to sit down and do lamaze breathing, because chances are I spent several non-billable hours thinking about the site’s color scheme. However, what’s even worse than having a good design reduced by someone’s personal palette preferences is being unable come up with a good design to begin with. For those moments of creative impotence I feel worthless, despondent, and briefly suicidal (just kidding, Mom!).
So in order to get some ideas, or perhaps just to remember some old tricks I’ve relied on to get me going in the past, I started looking at old work I’ve done. Turns out this was a horrible idea. Looking at these mockups of days gone by, I remembered how much work I put into each one, and how proud I was when they launched. And then the glass-is-half-empty side of me thought “you could’ve done better,” or “why didn’t you think to do this?” or “who do you think you’re kidding?” Well, that last one was probably my you-don’t-even-deserve-the-glass voice, which was the dominant voice of yesterday. Seeing all my past shortcomings (imagined or otherwise), and being faced with one in the present seemed to be too much. I slammed down the lid on my MacBook, stomped out of the coffee shop, and followed my dismayed* boyfriend back home.
(*Note: Boyfriend just told me he wasn’t that dismayed, he’s used to it.)
Once home, I sulkily suggested we eat some dinner and watch a movie, hoping it would get my mind off the fact that I was failing at life. We had just seen There Will Be Blood, our previous Netflix choice, so we opted for Pixar’s Short Films Volume 1. There are some awkward moments in the films – the baby from Tin Toy is horrible looking, and the clown from Red’s Dream looks like something our friend Brian would make in MS Paint. Yet when the opening moments of Luxo Jr. unfolded, I couldn’t help but grin. It may be impossible to stay bitter when watching a baby lamp squish its ball, temporarily feel defeated, then rebound with a bigger ball. In fact all of the films ultimately made me smile, despite any of their visual limitations.
After finishing off the series, Jason decided to play the dreaded behind the scenes, special feature, film geek mini-documentary. I hate these little extras, as I’d rather keep the mystery alive, and don’t really care what the craft services table looked like. Yet after years of dating a brilliant and avid film nerd, I’ve come to accept them as the follow-up to any film.
Unexpectedly, Pixar’s dorky special feature turned out to be a godsend. The artists and programmers behind the films talked about the sense of success that came with the release of each work, and how much they learned from each new project. They discussed how they cringe now when they see the misshapenness of some of the characters, but how each one went on to shape a successor. Seeing the drastic improvements between each film, it’s undeniable that the Pixar team has found a way to learn from every challenge they face, and that they are constantly pushing themselves to grow. It’s a story I think every creative person can learn from – know your technology, be forgiving of your early design efforts, constantly work on developing your style, and you will only get better. I just hope that one day I can take my designs from Luxo to WALL•E, and beyond.
11 Comments
What a refreshing post. I love when a writer is willing to be so transparent to their readers and admit that they sometimes encounter roadblocks too. Instead, it’s all too common to see people try to portray themselves as invincible.
Like you, I too love seeing PIXAR’s progression. It’s almost like watching a young talented child mature. I can’t wait to see what they, and you, release next. I’m sure that both will be well worth waiting for.
What a great post. I am obsessed with PIXAR. For me, they have never missed the mark. Some of their shorts, especially the rabbit and the magician that played in front of WALL•E are more entertaining then some of the crappy movies that are made today.
PIXAR is the reason I’m a designer. I went to the theater and saw Toy Story for the first time and I knew at that exact moment that I wanted to be an artist with a computer. Your post hit the nail on the head. If you can look at something you did 2 or 3 years ago and not have anything negative to say about it, you’re not growing.
It wasn’t entirely clear from the context, but in the following line, did you mean “successor” rather than “predecessor”?
“They discussed how they cringe now when they see the misshapenness of some of the characters, but how each one went on to shape a predecessor”
Great post. Please keep ‘em coming.
@Rob Schultz – Thanks so much for the encouragement. I know what you mean about authors wanting to present themselves as infallible, and perhaps that’s smarter from a marketing perspective. I hope to always use this site as a space to be honest about my experiences as a designer, and not just another self-promotion tool.
I also can’t wait to see what Pixar does next. Has anyone heard anything about their next film? Seems we knew about WALL•E before Ratatouille and Cars came out.
@Paul Kelley – That’s too funny, Jason and I are obsessed with Pixar as well. The rabbit and magician short was amazing, possibly one of my favorites so far. And I totally agree with your comment on looking back. Thanks for the awesome comment.
@Pedantic Guy – Haha, use of correct prefix FAIL. Thanks for the correction, and the feedback.
I resent that MS paint comment. I AM AN ARTISTE! So much so that I can spell it the French way.
Love your post Meagan. Although I’m not a designer I can relate. I’ve got all the short films on my Mac and ipod and *always* come back to them for inspiration or motivation. My kids love them too… I hope they’ll tell me in 25 years time that thanks to Pixar’s films they found the same inspiration I did.
Good luck at Simplebits. I look forward to your work.
Thank you very much, meagan!
I was depressed lately for nearly the same reasons, I felt that i don’t have the enough talent to get the work done at any time. We should face this moments and get used to be over it.
I truly loved this post, it really affected my morale positively, thanks again
I so much loved this post, Meagan! Greatly written, and so true! So thanks for that!
Much of this happens to me too, anyway; I think the key is not to live life by “absolutes”, but try to do what we do, the best way we’re capable of in that particular moment.
From *my experience* we probably can’t always have a 100% yield, and while one should always strive to get better, it is also true that we shouldn’t be too hard judging on our works.
I really hope that you can get the inspiration you’re looking for! Take care.
Meagan, thanks for sharing that experience and insight. I think you also touched on the fact that as creatives, we need to be open to finding inspiration from unexpected sources. And on that note, I’d just like to say that I stumbled along to your site with no expectations or preconceptions by way of the recent post on Simplebits about your new gig there (congrats, by the way – JEALOUS!). I am very happy to have discovered your site, the design is beautiful and obviously I’ve very much enjoyed your writing. Keep it up!
Meagan, thank you SO much for putting this out there!
Here’s my creative roadblock version:
Web development and SEO isn’t really just something for me to do from 9-5; I think about it all the time, unable to sleep in when on a website mission.
I think about site functionality, keywords and traffic while chopping garlic, folding laundry and… (not really!)
I go to sleep just to get the sleep part over with so I can get back to the mission.
I drift off into how to make a site better (more traffic, better content, more elegant layout) during ANY conversation not related to web development, fishing or flying.
I have dreams about working with people who do what I do just to feel understood anymore.
When potential clients call me and say “I just want a basic site, nothing fancy, but I want to be Number 1 for these fifty keywords and a hundred and fifty dollars – oh and a shopping cart too – can you do that?” I often have to cover my mouth to stop the relationship-ending expletives from pushing past my lips and forcing their way into that moron’s unsuspecting virgin ears.
See? And that was tame. What a nice vent. Thank you!
And when I reach the creative roadblock, I know it is high time to get out of the office and get some perspective. When overwhelemed, it’s time to head out to sea with bait or up to a flight level.
Keep going Meagan, you are doing great!
What a great little post.. You summarize how many of us feels. One can’t help but growing emotionally attached to our designs and small creations.
Congrats’ with the new job!